Whinge, Moan, Complain

I've been busy with real life, Facebook and Flickr and there isn't time for everything. I haven't forgotten my friends here in blogland though.

I've just read my last post. Since then, I have stayed together with my BF and our relationship is better than before. As all relationships it still needs some work.

I think that's it for the moment.

Bye for now
BB

I tried to stay away from him. But I work in the same office, and I like him. I was in need of sex, so I gave him the option of a sex only relationship. He agreed (he can't say no to an offer of sex). So then I was in control. I invited him to my place when I wanted sex and we had no other contact except at work. This was a very strange situation. We really like each other, but just don't seem to be able to understand each other. So now we've decided to get some counselling. He must really like me because he wants to change so that he doesn't loose me completely!! We went for the initial assessment on Thursday, which was good. It's great to talk about stuff with another person and see it from a new perspective. So counselling should help us decide what's the best thing to do. Can we work on our relationship and stay together? or will it never work out and so we will have to end it totally and each look for another person. It's a bit scary. Logically I don't see how we can stay together, but emotionally I'm afraid to be without him.

We have exchanged some emails, mainly me explaining to him why I cannot have a relationship with him. He rang me on Friday afternoon and sounded very upset, he want to meet for a talk, but I was assertive (for once) and said 'no'

At the moment I'm not feeling so angry. But I'm still feeling lonely. This has been a lovely weekend and I've had no one to spend it with. I've eaten out by myself, gone for a walk, but it's not the same by yourself. I think I know how my Mum feels now that my Dad has died, but she has more friends that she sees regularly than I do. I'm starting to sound like Eeyore!!

I joined a dating site, but the blokes on there are not too attractive.

Oh well, I'm sure things have to get better, it just takes time.

My emotions feel like a roller coaster at the moment. I go from feeling happy and positive to angry and sad. I didn't speak to my bloke for two weeks, then I was so in need of sex I went back to him. Then i got really angry and I'm not speaking to him again. It's too difficult to leave a relationship when you don't have anyone to talk to about it. I feel so fucking lonely sometimes. I am making new friends, but it takes time to get real close friends and I need them now. I'm feel like I'm in no mans land all alone. I'm sure things will get better, but this is painful.

Have been feeling depressed for sometime. I wanted to change my life before I was 40 but didn't really know how to do it. Then at the end of last week suddenly everything changed. At first it seemed like a change for the worse, but turned out to be great.

My boyfriend did something that really upset me, I was very angry with him and dumped him. Now I haven't spoken to him for a week. I felt upset, but I also felt free to do things I had not done for ages. About the same time, a book I had ordered arrived: Change your life in 7 day by Paul McKenna, which had been recommended by a friend. I always though Paul McKenna looked patronising on the cover of his books and never thought I would by one, but I needed to do something. It comes with a mind reprogramming CD, which I was skeptical about. But I tried it and was very surprised to find it actually works!!

I still feel in love with my boyfriend, but it is like an addiction that I need to break free from because he is not good for me and our relationship was going nowhere. As we didn't live together I felt that if did his own thing and I did my own thing we would never see each other. As he doesn't like doing what I like, I always did what he was doing so that I could spend time with him.

Now, some day's I've been feeling a little sad and lonely, but most of the time I feel happy and positive about the future, something I haven't felt for a few years!

I need another car, all I can afford is the smallest second hand one (even then I have to borrow money), I still rent a room as I cannot afford even to rent a flat never mind buy one. I get so frustrated with myself as it's my fault that I don't earn enough to afford the life I want. I just want to be comfortable with my own small home and nice things. But I don't seem to be able to earn enough, because I'm stupid? or don't have the right attitude to work? Because I refuse to do a job I hate, again? Because I can't feel grown up enough to do a responsible job? I know I'm not stupid, it's some emotional thing that stops me. So I watch others, my brother, my boyfriend etc living in their nice flats and buying nice things to go in them and I feel depressed. Oh, this is not a good start to the new year.

After numerous rounds of "We don't even know if Osama is still alive", Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.

Bush opened the letter and it contained a single line of coded message:

370H-SSV-0773H

Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condoleezza Rice.

Condi and her aides had not a clue either, so they sent it to the FBI.

No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, then to MI6 and Mossad.

Eventually they asked Australian Intelligence (ASIO) for help. Within a minute ASIO emailed the White House with this reply.............

"Tell the President he's holding the message upside down."

and soon the beginning of a new one.

Happy New Year! I wish you all a good year in 2008.

BB.