I found this when I was browsing the intenet, I thought it was funny

I am about to start some voluntary work teaching English to an Asian woman. I have done the training, which lasts for four evenings, and this week we were told who our student would be. All that is left now is for me to ring her and arrange the first lesson. This is quite exciting, I've never done somthing like it before. I also feel a bit nervous. I will let you know how our first lesson goes later.

Poverty cannot be history until the rich are history.

I really appreciate you all. I really feel I have a group of friend to talk to, about things that I would find it difficult to talk about to people face to face. That's really odd as in reality you are a random group of strangers! I thought if I wrote a blog no-one would read it, but I've recived comments and made friends. Thank you.

I talked to my bloke again at the weekend. He sais he hasn't visited a prostitute while he's been with me and doesn't intend to at the moment. I don't know exactly what 'at the moment' means, but I hope it means while he is with me. This could be the truth or not, but I choose to believe him because I need to. I really like him and don't want to give up yet.

Do you visit “Working Women” (prostitutes/escorts, what ever you want to call them)? How often? How long do you stay? Does anyone know about it? Would you tell your wife/partner/girlfriend/lover? How would she react if you did? Apart from the obvious sexual reasons for visiting these women what other fulfilment do you get from going there, if any?

If you had a lovely sexy attractive girlfriend/partner/wife/etc who enjoyed sex with you as often as you wanted, would you still feel the need to visit “Working Women”?

You are totally in love with a really nice bloke and he has the same feelings for you. He has split up with his wife who he had a very bad relationship with. Then one day he tells you, he vistited a "Working Woman" (I would call it a prostitue) while he was married because his wife didn't have sex with him, but now he is with you he no longer sees her. Would you carry on the relationship with him?

A while later you find out he has seen a whole list of "Working Women" even way before he was married, and slept with his ex while he was married. Would you still stay with him?

Finally one day his mobile rings and he tells you it's his "Working Woman" so it turns out he is still in touch with one of them!!! He says he likes to talk to her and she helped him though difficulties and now she is his friend!!!! Would any woman trust this man?

As you have guest, this is my bloke and he seems to think he is not doing anything wrong. He wonders why I don't trust him!!!! What is wrong with him? What is wrong with me? I still love him, but I don't want to share him even with a prostitute!!!!!!! The only good thing about this is that at least he is honest, and I am honest with him.

I was angry with him all last week about this and other stuff, on Friday night we had a long, honest disscussion about our relationship etc. He didn't change his mind, but I really like him. This relationship is really messing with my head! I want to tell him to F off and fuck his prostitute, but I really care about him.

I'm not feeling in a good mood today. I'm feeling insecure in my relationship and lonley 'cause I don't have anyone to talk to about it.(I know, what a sad person, you must be thinking). So you have to put up with me going on about it. I left my partner of quite a few years (who happened to be female) almost a year ago and got together with the bloke I am with now. I really like him, but he just wants to go out with me and on holiday, which is very nice, but not enough for me. It's much more difficult to communicate with a bloke, especially when they don't like to talk about feelings.

Yestoday I went for a walk in a park with a friend. The park was very busy, their were lots of youths etc. Why is it that young boys find it acceptable to walk around with their jogging trousers on and their hand permanantly inside playing with themselves in public. I seem to suddenly be noticing this habit everwhere. They must think it's cool or somthing, but to me it just show how insecure they must be to hang on to their c k all the time. They don't seem to care who sees they are usually with other blokes or girls. Why don't the girls say anything? If my male friends did that walking in public with me I would definatly have something to say. Why can't they find somewhere private for a W k? and apart from being offensive, it not very hygenic. Am I just getting old?

‘… human life is mainly a process of filling in time until the arrival of death, or Santa Claus, with very little choice, if any, of what kind of business one is going to transact during the long wait, is commonplace but not the final answer. For certain fortunate people there is something which transcends all classification of behaviour, and that is awareness; something which rises above the programming of the past, and that is spontaneity; and something that is more rewarding than games, and that is intimacy. But all three of these may be frightening and even perilous to the unprepared.'

Games people play
By Eric Berne M D

I am worried that I am spending my life 'filling in time' with meaningless stuff. I want to be aware, spontaneous and intimate.

(Is there a spellchecker on this thing?)

I went to Kew Gardens on Saturday, it's really cool place. I didn't realise it was so big. I had a great day. I might add some pictures, I can do it now as I don't have them with me. I went with my lovely boy friend or what ever. Boy friend sounds bit childish when your 37, and he is older but I go out with him and we don't live together so I suppose that's what he is. Then on Sunday he wanted to do his own thing and I felt so alone after a really good day on Saturday. He is really independant, and my mind works overtime wondering what he's up to sometimes.

Has anyone else read 'The Power of Now' by Erkhart Tolle? I'm a bit more than half way though. It's very interesting book. I'm not sure I belive everything he says. Basically what it's about is how to live fully in the present. If we can leave our thoughs about past and future, and only use our minds when we need to, we can find a deep peace in the spiritual part of ourselves. The only thing which is ever real is the present moment everything else is a fantisy. I am trying it but it is very difficult, I enjoy my thoughts too much, even negative ones - even though that is nuts if you think about it logically.

Hey, I'm enjoying this blogging thing. It's great to interact with other people on-line. Here comes the winge - but I only really get to do it when I'm at work. I have dial-up at home and I get impatient waiting for it, anyway I'm hardly ever in.

Someone called Natalie suggested that I could just think of a word and write about that, if I didn't know what to write. My word today is 'Glass'. I chose it because there is a glass on my desk right infront of me. It's empty. I never drink enough, so everyone tells me. It's healthy to drink loads of water everyday, but it annoying to have to pee all the time!

Hey, I used to be signed up to this thing called Word a Day, you get a word e-mailed to you you every day with it's meaning etc. It was very interesting, but when I was busy the words just piled up in my in box.

Well it's friday, the end of another week. I may not be back on line until Monday.
Have a good week end every one.

BB