Whinge, Moan, Complain

Maybe I'm obsessed by cocks because I didn't have one for so long. I had one boyfriend when I was 17. Then I was a Christian for 10 years and had platonic relationships with blokes, then I was with a woman for 7 years. (I did enjoy sex with her though). So now I'm making the most of having access to yummy male genitals.

I think even though my boyfriend says he doesnt mind me having on line sex, I think he is a bit worried that I will decide I want someone else, when I see what other blokes have got. But it was him who said he doesn't believe in exclusive relationships and all that. Maybe it's OK when he's the one cheating on a woman. I don't know that anyone has done that to him, so he doesn't know how it feels.

... is what my boyfriend says I am. He said he's never known another woman who likes cocks like I do!! He told me today I need therapy or to join cockaholics anonymous. I'm sure plenty of women enjoy cocks, don't they? I like sex and I like to play with it even when it's soft, I think male genitals are lovely and fascinating. What's wrong with that? Well, he enjoys it.

I bought myself some daffodils this morning. I've never bought myself flowers before. It is good to try and enjoy life.

He rang me today. This time we used webcams! He has a nice cock! That's all I'm saying. We also talked about other stuff, he seems nice and friendly.

I'm just watching a programme about how powerful Tesco is. I hate Tesco, but because it's convenient and I'm used to it, I still shop there! There was a time when I made an effort to shop elsewhere, but I'm afraid for the last couple of years I've gone back to Tesco.

What about Virgin? they also seem to be taking over. Now they've bought NTL. I have my Broadband with them.

I think I'm becoming addicted to chocolate. Not that sweet milky stuff that most people call chocolate, I mean the real dark stuff, 70% or over cocoa solids, that is so yummy! I especially like Green and Blacks. I've also tried Chocolate with chili, it's extremely nice! The only thing nicer than dark chocolate is sex.

He didn't mind. He said I don't enjoy myself enough and I spend too much time not doing things I want to do. He said it's up to me if I contact the bloke again. I'm not sure that I will, but it is tempting.

I had my first on-line, with a complete stranger, sexual encounter last night. It wasn't planned. I had downloaded Skype to chat with my brother and I thought I would leave it on 'Skype me' (anyone can contact you). I had forgotten i was logged in when I was contacted by a bloke in Canada. His partner was at work and he wanted to talk about sex. Why not I thought. It was fun. He wanted to use web cams, but I was a bit shy for that. I feel a little guilty, if my bloke was doing that I would feel jealous. I think I might tell him though, I want to be honest and I don't think he will be upset.

Yesterday, I did my washing: I put the clothes in the washing machine, switched the power on, added washing liquid and went upstairs to wait. Later I took the clothes out, started hanging them up, and started thinking they feel a bit dry. I HAD FORGOTTEN TO PRESS THE START BUTTON!! and it took me that long to realise! Sometimes I can really be thick, I hate to think what I will be like when I'm old.

I'm off to yoga in a few mins. I love yoga, feel so calm after and healthy. I have started meditation class as well, I aim to practice it at home and make a habit of it, but oh how many distractions!

Coming home to my place is like the story of the billy goats: they can't go over the bridge without meeing the troll. I can't come in the door and go up to my room with out meeting the landlady troll. She's ALWAYS there! I must be going mad, you think, what is this girl talking about!

I saw the film last night. It was good, worth seeing, but as usual the film was not as good as the book. It was changed quite a lot.