I need another car, all I can afford is the smallest second hand one (even then I have to borrow money), I still rent a room as I cannot afford even to rent a flat never mind buy one. I get so frustrated with myself as it's my fault that I don't earn enough to afford the life I want. I just want to be comfortable with my own small home and nice things. But I don't seem to be able to earn enough, because I'm stupid? or don't have the right attitude to work? Because I refuse to do a job I hate, again? Because I can't feel grown up enough to do a responsible job? I know I'm not stupid, it's some emotional thing that stops me. So I watch others, my brother, my boyfriend etc living in their nice flats and buying nice things to go in them and I feel depressed. Oh, this is not a good start to the new year.