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This is tough!!!
by BlueButterfly @ Friday, 02. May, 2008 - 09:27:42 pm

My emotions feel like a roller coaster at the moment. I go from feeling happy and positive to angry and sad. I didn't speak to my bloke for two weeks, then I was so in need of sex I went back to him. Then i got really angry and I'm not speaking to him again. It's too difficult to leave a relationship when you don't have anyone to talk to about it. I feel so fucking lonely sometimes. I am making new friends, but it takes time to get real close friends and I need them now. I'm feel like I'm in no mans land all alone. I'm sure things will get better, but this is painful.

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jackfrostjackfrost pro
02/05/08 @ 21:36

sorry your hurting

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=2A2Jt4WOxN8

Apache Blessing

May the sun bring you new energy by day,
May the moon softly restore you by night,
May the rain wash away your worries
And the breeze blow new strength into your being,

And all the days of your life may you walk
Gently through the world and know its beauty.

Gra, Dilseacht, Cairdeas -- Love, Loyalty, Friendship

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BlueButterflyBlueButterfly [Member]
02/05/08 @ 22:05

Thank you jackfrost, that's beautiful.

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jackfrostjackfrost pro
02/05/08 @ 22:18

I do know where you are i was 27 and had 2 bags to my name imy 1st wife had left me for another man taking my kids and i had nowhere to go and i was at a railway siding crying because i felt so sorry for myself....but you know what ..people now ask me what would i change if i could go back and my answer is always ..2 nothing beacause if i had not gone through that i would not look down on my darling son and daughters..and without them what would life have been worth...nothing...so work through it sweetface and i am sure that it will lead you to a bright and happy place ...wish i could take some of your pain away..!:)

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BlueButterflyBlueButterfly [Member]
02/05/08 @ 23:45

Sounds as if you had a worse time than me. Thanks for your good wishes.

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sidejumpsidejump [Member]
02/05/08 @ 21:59

oh dear BB. Jacks blessing is nice. I wish you a lot of inner strength too. Learn to love yourself, and the rest will follow.

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BlueButterflyBlueButterfly [Member]
02/05/08 @ 22:10

Thank you. Loving myself, I know that would be really good.

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sidejumpsidejump [Member]
03/05/08 @ 07:14

and it takes time. Don't expect to change your life or your learned responses to life overnight, just try and stay positive, learn to look for the positives, and count your blessings as it were. And if you have a set back, then use it to learn from, don't beat yourself up about it.
It is a shame you have no real friend to help you, but you have us guys :) We love a bit of amateur psychology, but remember we are no better than you. You know yourself better than any of us. Love SJ

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BlueButterflyBlueButterfly [Member]
03/05/08 @ 15:18

I am trying to take control of my life, my thoughts and feelings. But you are right it takes time to change things that have been the same for 39 years!! I have to keep working on it.

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kevinwilsonkevinwilson pro
02/05/08 @ 23:09

sidejump has it exactly right.
life can sometimes knock our own self respect out of the window, but it's important to love yourself and not be afraid.

xx

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BlueButterflyBlueButterfly [Member]
02/05/08 @ 23:27

Thank you Kevin.

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deleted user [Visitor]

03/05/08 @ 21:47

X hang on in there like they say it will get better. Try and reconnect with who you are deep inside you, not the woman who relates to men, or who relates to family, or who follows patterns of behaviour that she knows are not going to serve her in the long run... find the real you, I suspect she will surprise you with her wisdom and her courage.
Believe me I have been through it ( too often;) and come out the other side, and I am much stronger now (and happier) and you will be too.
treat yourself to something. Maybe a massage, or something more spiritual? Let your intuition tell you. xx

braddersbradders [Member]
09/05/08 @ 23:35

You ain't alone, I've been so angry lately, on the 12th of May I've been married for 35 years and I love the Foxy Chick dearly but and it's a big BUT I saw a girl that I'm very fond of recently and she gave me a hug and whilst hugging I felt something that I haven't felt for years, I want this woman like you wouldn't believe but she's a Lesbian and I feel so fucking bad about my feelings that I've been getting angry, the other day I dragged a man from his car and threw him to the ground and moved his car because he wouldn't get out of my way, I came home and cried because that's not me at all, I'm as confused as you seem to be so you're not alone, I think I've said it before but you seem like a lovely girl so why is life so complicated for you? I don't know, I'll say it again, you ain't alone.

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BlueButterflyBlueButterfly [Member]
11/05/08 @ 19:07

Is that the same girl who calls you Barney Rubble?
Gosh, you sound really angry. Do you have anyone you can talk to about your feelings? I'm sorry you are having a difficult time at the moment.
BB

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braddersbradders [Member]
12/05/08 @ 19:52

It's not the girl that calls me Barney Rubble, she's a married woman, don't feel sorry for me I ain't worth it, I'm ashamed of myself at the moment but that will fade, I need to sort out the anger thing though, I'm lucky because I have the Foxy Chick, she'll help me, she always has, all the best to you, I hope things get a lot better for you very soon.
Kind regards, Bradders

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