Whinge, Moan, Complain

'Hello' from a stranger in blogland

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 18:37:43 +0100

I've been busy with real life, Facebook and Flickr and there isn't time for everything. I haven't forgotten my friends here in blogland though.

I've just read my last post. Since then, I have stayed together with my BF and our relationship is better than before. As all relationships it still needs some work.

I think that's it for the moment.

Bye for now
BB

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The relationship story continues ... I took control

Sat, 21 Jun 2008 10:35:18 +0200

I tried to stay away from him. But I work in the same office, and I like him. I was in need of sex, so I gave him the option of a sex only relationship. He agreed (he can't say no to an offer of sex). So then I was in control. I invited him to my place when I wanted sex and we had no other contact except at work. This was a very strange situation. We really like each other, but just don't seem to be able to understand each other. So now we've decided to get some counselling. He must really like me because he wants to change so that he doesn't loose me completely!! We went for the initial assessment on Thursday, which was good. It's great to talk about stuff with another person and see it from a new perspective. So counselling should help us decide what's the best thing to do. Can we work on our relationship and stay together? or will it never work out and so we will have to end it totally and each look for another person. It's a bit scary. Logically I don't see how we can stay together, but emotionally I'm afraid to be without him.

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I still haven't gone back to him

Sun, 11 May 2008 19:39:43 +0200

We have exchanged some emails, mainly me explaining to him why I cannot have a relationship with him. He rang me on Friday afternoon and sounded very upset, he want to meet for a talk, but I was assertive (for once) and said 'no'

At the moment I'm not feeling so angry. But I'm still feeling lonely. This has been a lovely weekend and I've had no one to spend it with. I've eaten out by myself, gone for a walk, but it's not the same by yourself. I think I know how my Mum feels now that my Dad has died, but she has more friends that she sees regularly than I do. I'm starting to sound like Eeyore!!

I joined a dating site, but the blokes on there are not too attractive.

Oh well, I'm sure things have to get better, it just takes time.

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This is tough!!!

Fri, 02 May 2008 21:27:42 +0200

My emotions feel like a roller coaster at the moment. I go from feeling happy and positive to angry and sad. I didn't speak to my bloke for two weeks, then I was so in need of sex I went back to him. Then i got really angry and I'm not speaking to him again. It's too difficult to leave a relationship when you don't have anyone to talk to about it. I feel so fucking lonely sometimes. I am making new friends, but it takes time to get real close friends and I need them now. I'm feel like I'm in no mans land all alone. I'm sure things will get better, but this is painful.

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I am changing my life! Anything is possible.

Sun, 13 Apr 2008 20:42:16 +0200

Have been feeling depressed for sometime. I wanted to change my life before I was 40 but didn't really know how to do it. Then at the end of last week suddenly everything changed. At first it seemed like a change for the worse, but turned out to be great.

My boyfriend did something that really upset me, I was very angry with him and dumped him. Now I haven't spoken to him for a week. I felt upset, but I also felt free to do things I had not done for ages. About the same time, a book I had ordered arrived: Change your life in 7 day by Paul McKenna, which had been recommended by a friend. I always though Paul McKenna looked patronising on the cover of his books and never thought I would by one, but I needed to do something. It comes with a mind reprogramming CD, which I was skeptical about. But I tried it and was very surprised to find it actually works!!

I still feel in love with my boyfriend, but it is like an addiction that I need to break free from because he is not good for me and our relationship was going nowhere. As we didn't live together I felt that if did his own thing and I did my own thing we would never see each other. As he doesn't like doing what I like, I always did what he was doing so that I could spend time with him.

Now, some day's I've been feeling a little sad and lonely, but most of the time I feel happy and positive about the future, something I haven't felt for a few years!

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Stuck in circle of not making it

Wed, 02 Jan 2008 22:01:11 +0100

I need another car, all I can afford is the smallest second hand one (even then I have to borrow money), I still rent a room as I cannot afford even to rent a flat never mind buy one. I get so frustrated with myself as it's my fault that I don't earn enough to afford the life I want. I just want to be comfortable with my own small home and nice things. But I don't seem to be able to earn enough, because I'm stupid? or don't have the right attitude to work? Because I refuse to do a job I hate, again? Because I can't feel grown up enough to do a responsible job? I know I'm not stupid, it's some emotional thing that stops me. So I watch others, my brother, my boyfriend etc living in their nice flats and buying nice things to go in them and I feel depressed. Oh, this is not a good start to the new year.

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Joke

Wed, 02 Jan 2008 21:49:47 +0100

After numerous rounds of "We don't even know if Osama is still alive", Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.

Bush opened the letter and it contained a single line of coded message:

370H-SSV-0773H

Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condoleezza Rice.

Condi and her aides had not a clue either, so they sent it to the FBI.

No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, then to MI6 and Mossad.

Eventually they asked Australian Intelligence (ASIO) for help. Within a minute ASIO emailed the White House with this reply.............

"Tell the President he's holding the message upside down."

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The end of another year

Mon, 31 Dec 2007 18:18:15 +0100

and soon the beginning of a new one.

Happy New Year! I wish you all a good year in 2008.

BB.

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Happy Purple Christmas!!!

Mon, 10 Dec 2007 22:47:52 +0100

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A man and his best friend

Sat, 08 Dec 2007 15:42:35 +0100

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Are you an internet addict?

Mon, 03 Dec 2007 00:21:45 +0100

*You Are 56% Addicted to the Internet*

You're somewhat addicted to the internet - but who isn't?
You can keep it under check, and you're by no means a hermit.

Are You Addicted to the Internet?
http://www.blogthings.com/areyouaddictedtotheinternetquiz/

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Speed Awareness Workshop

Sun, 02 Dec 2007 20:40:47 +0100

I got caught by mobile speed trap the other day on my way to work. I didn't know anything about it until I got a letter saying that my picture had been taken going 38mph in 30mph road. I was then offered the choice of a £60 fine and 3 points or to pay £75 for a speed awareness workshop. I was not happy!! I assumed that if I have point on my license my car insurance will go up, so it was off to the workshop. The workshop consisted of a computer quiz about how you drive and some statistics about road accidents etc. They also said that speeding is becoming socially unacceptable, is that true?

Did attending a workshop change the way I drive? NO, of course not! Do I think it's it just a way of making money, YES! If they are really going to encourage us to drive safely why isn't everyone offered a workshop free.

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More scanner art

Mon, 26 Nov 2007 01:05:58 +0100

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I'm being more creative with the scanner

Mon, 26 Nov 2007 01:01:08 +0100

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Scanner Art

Sun, 25 Nov 2007 12:58:17 +0100

I have discovered a new way of making art using a scanner. Here are a couple of examples:

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I've found another addictive website

Thu, 25 Oct 2007 22:00:47 +0200

Flickr photo sharing. As I've heard it mentioned so often I thought I would check it out and I've been there every evening since!! It's more than about photo's, it's about art and life. Very interesting stuff.

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Has anyone ever given their genitals a name?

Mon, 08 Oct 2007 22:59:49 +0200

I was just having an email conversation with my BF. He says with a previous girlfriend they had names for their parts, a girls name for hers and a boys name for his. I won't say what they were just in case.

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American Idiots!!

Mon, 08 Oct 2007 20:18:09 +0200

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Thinking about sex!!

Wed, 03 Oct 2007 21:29:21 +0200

My BF has been gone for over a week, and the longer he's gone the more I think about sex because I can't have it. I know I can do it myself but it's no where near as good as the real thing, and it doesn't stop me thinking about it. I don't know how I managed to go without sex for 10 years before! I don't think I could do that again. Sex just makes me feel so relaxed and happy. Sometimes I think it's the only time I really feel happy.

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Things to help me change

Wed, 03 Oct 2007 21:18:17 +0200

I've been listening to an affirmations CD for self esteem. You're supposed to listen to it every day for 30 days or more and it reprogrammes negative thoughts into positive ones! I think it has helped a bit, as when I have a negative thought quite often I will think of the positive affirmation. I've also started talking to myself in the mirror (only when I'm alone)telling myself positive things. But i think it will take longer than 30 days to really change the way I feel about myself etc. I've also been making a 'wish book' of all the things I want in my life, which is supposed to help you get them somehow, but this can just end up making me feel a bit angry though because I don't really believe I will get them very easily. Has any one else tried any of this stuff? Did it make a difference?

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Whooah!

Wed, 03 Oct 2007 21:03:16 +0200

The adverts are getting bigger around here!

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Where to start?

Fri, 21 Sep 2007 21:47:48 +0200

Lots of stuff is going on at the moment. My ex girlfriend is in hospital with a blockage in an artery, she has an operation next week to clean it out. I hope she'll be OK. It's caused by smoking. The Dr says he'll give the the gunk they get out in a pot. I hope this gives her a kick up the ass to give up. Another friend has breast cancer and had her breast removed! That scary as she's the same age as me and doesn't smoke.

The good news is I have new baby nephew, he was premature and he's very tiny but very cute.

My BF goes away for a holiday by himself in the USA tomorrow He'll be gone for a bit over three weeks. It's really tough being apart for so long, but it was my choice not to go with him, and we'll keep in touch by email.

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Boyfriend

Wed, 29 Aug 2007 17:38:29 +0200

My BF has bought himself a new flat. He told me the day before he moved in 'You may be expecting me to ask you to move in with me. I've been thinking a lot the last few day's and I prefer to live alone.' Well it's been obvious to me for a long time that he wasn't going invite me to move in, and even if he did want me to, I would have refused. I never even saw the place until the day he moved in. He chose the area and the furniture and everything. He asked my opinion on a couple of things, but if I move in with someone I want it to be to a place we choose and buy together, so we both are equal. Apart from that I couldn't live with him anyway, he would drive me crazy! I can't even spend longer than a week on holiday with him. In fact he has booked a 3 week holiday in the States and I'm not going. I will really miss him, and miss sex and worry about what he's up to on his own, but after my last holiday experience with him I'd rather stay at home.

Well, anyway the good point about his new flat are: I get to use his garden, I get to watch his new TV, and eat at the table in his kitchen a few times a week.

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Birthday

Sat, 11 Aug 2007 15:54:13 +0200

It's my birthday today. I'm at home chilling on my own at the moment, later I will be going out for dinner with my BF and tomorrow with my family. Last night I had dinner with my ex and another friend of ours. I'm sure she's feeling rejected because I haven't invited her out with my family on Sunday, but my BF will be there. It's difficult being friends with your ex who hates your BF. There is so much I can't tell her, so my friendship with her is a bit weird. If I'm honest with her about what I'm doing she gets angry and jealous and shes always really negative and nasty about my BF. I can understand why, but it's not easy.

So why am I still friends with her? I didn't split up with her because I didn't like her. I was upset that I hurt her so much. Maybe I felt sorry for her. When we were together I promised I would alway be there for her, so I suppose I feel need to keep my promise in some way. I still enjoy doing stuff with her. I don't have many friends.

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Life goes to fast

Wed, 08 Aug 2007 22:47:15 +0200

I'm going to be 39 very soon!! There are so many things in my life I want to change, so I'm taking this birthday as a kick up the ass to do something before I'm 40.

I was visiting a friend last weekend and she was reading a book about creative visualisation. So I've ordered the book and a CD, I don't know if it will work but I want to try. I'm also going to start a wish book to remind me of what I want in my life.

This maybe one of those 'New Year resolution' things that won't last, but I will try to make it happen.

I need to get more positive, assertive, confident etc and then it will be easier to get the life that I want.

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Oh no it's that Facebook again

Wed, 01 Aug 2007 22:43:08 +0200

keeping me away from here! It's so easy to waste time on there just playing and then there's no time left! I was away last weekend as well, and I'm away this weekend!

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Blueberries yum!

Mon, 23 Jul 2007 22:35:36 +0200

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Tagged by Chyna Doll

Tue, 17 Jul 2007 23:20:07 +0200

Clicky-clicky into your blog and view the main page. Place your cursor in the left corner of the page and clicky-clicky the Next Blog.

In this blog that you have visited, leave one comment as follows - Have a great day. Click into four more blogs using the Next Blog icon and enter the comment as noted above to ensure that you have visited five blogs.

MEME Questions:

1. Did you clicky clicky into a blog you have seen before? If so, which one?

Yes cj592

2. Where any of the Next Blogs in another language? If so, what language?

3. Did you discover a blog that you would consider to be worthy of joining your friends’ list? If so, which one?

Mashed Potato

AND I tag the following:- Sapphire Night, GrayBags101, illustrated girl, steve P

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Amazon has change too!

Tue, 17 Jul 2007 23:01:33 +0200

and they appear to have deleted my wish list! That's not right without asking.

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Oh no! White pubes!!

Mon, 16 Jul 2007 20:56:32 +0200

I notice I have two white pubic hairs!!!! That's scary, I must be getting old.

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